Birthday Hellions

My Rats are 737 days apart. 2 years and 6 days.

We have New Years', then Big Rat B-Day, then Little Rat B-Day. Their mom decided that this past weekend would be good to have BOTH parties. On successive days.

I have somewhat recovered.

The Sunday party at the bowling alley was OK - really nothing horrible, and low-key. Especially when compared to Saturday, when all attendees were immersed into the deepest pits of hell: Chuck E. Cheese.

I'm not sure what they do with the money they charge for the parties. It isn't spent on the food, which can be called pizza only in that it is round and flat and red with a yellowy substance on top. It sure isn't spent on staff development or training - I'm sorry if this offends anyone (don't worry, I'll be sure to offend more later) but unmotivated, clueless, and unresponsive would be kind words for them.

Thankfully, the kids all seemed blissfully unaware of all this, stuffing themselves with the foodish substances, running around like banshees, and getting a super stim high from sugar and flashing lights.

The final crushing blow? The music. As most of you who know me will testify, I am a music junkie, super music geek. Mostly, it was all KidzBop-like crap. All of a sudden, a riff jumped out at me. Unmistakable to a once-upon-a-time 80's goth kid. Ministry - Every Day is Halloween - but (gulp) ChuckECheesified. Oh the horror of it. I swear, some CEC corporate suit who spun college radio in 1983 is having a good laugh about getting that done.

After I had the chance to clear my head and look around at everything that happened, and the rest of the people in there, I had a thought: (remember what I said about offending more later? here it comes) What were we thinking? We just aren't white trash enough for Chuck E. Cheese. Seriously.