Do You Believe?

Over the holidays, I took my kids to see The Polar Express in full IMAX 3-D. First, wow. I have never been to an IMAX theatre and had no idea the screen was SO freakin' BIG! Anyway, we settle in to our seats (comfy ones) and N. immediately jumps out of his seat and into my lap, curling into the crook of my left arm. OK - we were on the end of the row, no one in front of me (no seat actually, just a railing) so it was perfect. I put me feet up and settled in, with great big silly polarizing 3-D glasses (no pun intended, that's just how they work.)

Not knowing the original story or much about the movie, it unfolded brilliantly in front of me. There is still something creepy about the way mouths move in computer animation. Not quite natural and a little disturbing.

There is a train hobo character that simply HAD to be based on Tom Waits (even though Tom Hanks does the bulk of the voices) and Santa Himself is, well, Alan Rickman. You really have to go on voicing, and the fleeting full on face shots of Santa in the movie - which I can't seem to find online, but trust me.

So on to the pivotal scene, where the main character has his crisis of faith, where he realizes he can't hear the sleigh bells because of his doubt. As one of the bells falls off Santa's sleigh and rolls to his feet (in slow motion, of course) he picks it up and shakes it hearing nothing. A look of loss and panic crosses his face as he closes his eyes and says "I believe. I do. I believe..." and shakes again. The bell rings.

It is at this point that I begin to lose it and cry (because, as a former lover told me "you're the crying guy") Well, not just because it is a touching reminder of *Faith*, but this hit closer to home. Those of you that know me well know about N. Well the main character really looked like him - or at least what he should be, and how he should be. Second, his mom is currently working an a project to open a school - a very specialized school for kids like N. It is something that she wants, and with her background, I KNOW she will make it happen. Right now, they are working under the name "Project Believe."

Holding my son in my arms at that moment, everything just started pouring out of me. All the hope, the loss, the prayers, the failures. I think 5 years of parenting exploded through me at that moment. I am slightly grateful it wasn't at the very end of the movie, but even still - I wouldn't have cared if anyone saw the tears streaming down my face. Because I do believe.