Weeklong Headache

This time, it really was a week long, not just feeling like it was. It was just a very odd feeling. Nothing sucks more than to wake up with a headache. Muddled through work, was generally mopey & pissy. I am glad it's 99% over.

Maybe later on, something interesting will pop up that I can write about.

Lost and Found

I am not sure what happens when you die. I imagine that there is something other than nothing. I'd like to believe that we are more than beings that only wonder about what happens next, but will exist somehow in another manner once we no longer occuopy out bodies.

A comedian once mentioned that when you die, you get a box with all the stuff you ever lost - umbrellas, gloves, hats, etc. What becomes of the people that you've lost? The friends that drifted away, the lovers that stopped loving you, the people that just dropped out? Do you ever get them back?

In my life, people are very special. My good friends are always my friends, no matter what. When I love someone, there will always be a little bit of that person with me forever. I'm not the type that hopes I never see someone again.

So maybe you are one of those pepople that drifted away. Maybe you've been reading and realized there is someone in your life like that right now. Know what? Now is the time to do something.

Maybe there is something that happens when we die - someplace we go. But what if there isn't?

Obloquy

Even in the sharpness of clear conversation
I question so many things
Lifting myself from calm stasis
I frame the turbidity
Creating tumult among tranquility
Ne'er sated by alimental regards
I concuss the rational coloratura
Demonizing sweet descant until
Elegy is all I hear.
Dirige, Domine, Deus meus,
in conspectu tuo viam meam

There are no eyes within the soul of the leper
To guide his heart to grace.

Realizations

I feel:

tired
hungry
sad
alone
lost


I am:

motivated
good-natured
blessed with friends
focused
lucky to have food in the house

Have to keep making the distinctions that what you feel isn't always how things are. I have a lot to offer, I am a good person, I am loved.

When There Are No Words

Sometimes there things that happen in your life that words just can't connect to - well, not adequately. I am feeling that now. I have this great big empty that's chasing me like an evening shadow on a bike. I think I am pretending to not see it so that it won't bug me.


But it does.