Friday, November 25, 2005

Lovin' Is What I Got - I Said Remember That

Well, life is too short, so love the one you got...

Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me...

Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that.

Yes it's easy to be thankful for the roof over your head & the job and the car. All that easy stuff. Sometimes it is hard to be grateful for the love you do have, when you don't have somebody to love. Sometimes I get that way, and it's silly. Well, maybe not silly, but I guess there are times when it's no fun to not have a significant other in your life. But there are lots of friends, family, and my kids that love me, and I love them. Those are the ones that really count, that will stick with me through thick & thin.

So that's where I am.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Pre-Turkey Whine

I am not sure why I am so disappointed. Maybe it was hoping against hope. Looking for something not there. But that's me all over, isn't it?

At least I can look back and laugh at myself - until the next time I end up doing the same thing.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Waiting For The Sunrise

Watching the sun come up can be a pretty intense experience. Light & heat build with every moment, anticipation runs deep, and you can feel the motion of the world as you are standing still. A flood of brilliant light bathes you, caressing you from head toe, warming you to your soul.

Yes - it is a poetic moment to me, even if my kids have rousted me only moments before (as it happened) and I groggily sit here at my pc. I am still awed by the circuit.

Breakfast and a day of who-know-what waits with the rats. And another sunrise tomorrow.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

What's Better?

Do you see things as they are and say "why?" Or do you see things as they could be and say "why not?"

I have what I call EOS - Eternal Optimist Syndrome. Sometimes I wonder if it is more of a curse than anything else. (Gee Peter, feeling jaded?) Well, since you asked...

No, I don't think it is a bad thing - except for when I see so many good things and so much potential in another person, yet they can't see it in themselves. That is the part that is frustrating. Makes me crazy. I wish there was a way to change - both myself and the other person. But what would that really accomplish?

Instead I go on, tied in to the capitulations, a battered soul reaching out to a wounded heart. Nothing ever quite makes it right. Nothing ever gets through.

Or does it?

Sunday, November 13, 2005

So Totally Missed It

OK - I'm late.

Thursday was the anniversary of my first post of my blog. No surprise that life has got me too wound up to pause and reflect on such things.

One year. Yay me.

It's not like I have been at it every day. Yo be sure, there have been several gaps. BUt even after the absences, you have been there to welcome me back. Many of you quietly wondered where I was, hoping I'd return.

That has been the sweetest part. Knowing that people care and enjoy reading the things I have to say, my point of view, my poetry, my pissing & moaning. I just want to thank you all, and let you know what it has meant to me. I don't need the recognition, but it is nice to have.

I hope to give you all another year of interesting reading.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Eight Days A Week

Thats how much it feels I am working these days. Til at least 10pm during the week. Then I have the kids on the weekend. I could use a day to sleep in. If I can make it to Thanksgiving week I will be OK. I have a massage scheduled the day after TG. (Thanks WT! Love You!) But I am draggin. Living on Monster and coffee. Guh.

I am weak. I want to crawl into bed for three days straight. I want someone to hold me for a while. I want lots of sun and tropical-smelling stuff. I want breakfast in bed. I want to dissapear for a while.

Ah - I know. Who doesn't want that. It just needs to be said, get it out and move on.

Only 13 hours to go today...

Friday, November 04, 2005

Live From New York...

Well, I am back in the land of higher taxes, Derek Jeter, and kosher deli. I'm in a New York State of mind, OK?

I lived in NJ for 3 years. There's nothing wrong with it per se, it's just not where I am from, what I identify with. I am a New Yorker, end of story.

So I am all moved, settling in to the new place, finding things I had forgotten about or thought were lost, missing things that I have no idea where they went. Still trying to get the kids room squared away since I am basically creating a room for them out of what could be a dining room. We don't need it as I have a huge living room. It's good that they have they own space, and they are adjusting to it well.

I'm back to working two jobs again (thus the delay in getting back to blogging.) My "bloggiversary" is coming up and I'll probably go back and re-read all the posts from the last year; something I have not done yet.

So I hope to be back here a bit more regularly now that I have a routine going. Thanks again for hanging in there and waiting for my return.

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How much are you worth?